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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?